July, August and September are probably the most common birth months in the USA, meaning you almost certainly have a birthday — or know someone who has a birthday — coming up soon. And take a look at as you may to plan ahead, you’ve got probably found yourself running across the house within the hours before a celebration trying to find an item you may wrap and conceivably pass off as a gift.
It could be a lot easier for those who could just Venmo them a couple of dollars or email over an Amazon gift card… but is that too impersonal? Does it come across as thoughtless?
Not in keeping with Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert and founding father of the Protocol School of Texas.
“Money is king,” she says. “Everyone loves money.”
People of all ages welcome monetary gifts — and sometimes, they like it. In a 2019 survey from Mint, 61% of respondents said they’d prefer money or a present card to a quote-unquote “traditional” present. A 2023 YouGov poll found that “money or money in some form” beat books, event tickets, clothes and electronics in a rating of the vacation gifts people could be most excited to receive.
“I feel giving money as a gift will be perfectly appropriate and even appreciated in most instances,” etiquette expert Myka Meier, from Beaumont Etiquette, writes in an email. “It’s a present that actually allows the person you’re gifting to decide on what they really need or need.”
Meier points out that, in some cultures, it’s actually standard to receive money for certain occasions. The Recent York Times reports that in Japan, as an example, the everyday goshugi — envelope of money handed over in association with a celebration — is as much as ¥50,000 (over $300). South Korean weddings often have a chosen one that collects all of the chug-ui-geum.
Speaking broadly, money will be preferable if the recipient goes through a transition and/or taking up expenses related to a latest life stage. Think: graduations, weddings, baby showers.
The cash can assist offset the debt they’re taking up, and that’s no small thing.
Find out how to give the gift of money (or gift card)
There are some caveats here. Gottsman says whether a present of cash is perceived as impolite often depends upon the connection you’ve with the recipient.
As an example, while your 15-year-old nephew may be stoked to get $50 money, your more established great-aunt may be offended — she might interpret the gesture as you suggesting she needs money. It could also go south for those who’re in a latest romantic relationship where your partner is waiting for you to offer them something meaningful.
“Think concerning the recipient’s lifestyle and your relationship with them,” Meier says. “Consider in the event that they might prefer the flexibleness of money or in the event that they would appreciate the thoughtfulness of a bespoke gift.”
For those who’re frightened about seeming cold, Gottsman suggests you “warm it up” by getting a crisp bill from the bank and enclosing it in a pleasant, handwritten card. That shows the recipient that you just put effort and time into the current (and didn’t just pull a crumpled twenty out of your back pocket 10 minutes before the party).
This goes for gift cards, as well. Select a spot that you recognize, based in your shared history, the recipient loves. That way, you’re personalizing the gift and enabling them to get a treat of their selection in your dime.
Say your cousin loves going to their local AMC movie show but has trouble justifying the $15 popcorn combo given her strict budget. With an AMC gift card, you’re letting her splurge without the guilt of overspending on something frivolous.
That’s going to make more of an impact than a random hand cream she’ll never use.
“It isn’t a thoughtless gift if there’s some thought put into it,” Gottsman says.
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